Trials

So a couple of weeks ago I found myself pretty bummed. Bummed because life was not going how it was planned. I was failing in school, friends were not being actual good friends, and well the boy department is yet to go my way. I was homesick, and all I wanted was a hug from my mommy. ( trust me I am rarely like that) Well so I guess you could say that I was in a funk. a bad funk. one that was not going to leave for a long time. Life sucked, and I was just going to wallow in my own self pity for a while. That was until I read an email from my sister in law. Here is some background on my sister in laws new life and the trials she has to go through.

On January 11, 2010 a precious baby girl was born on this earth into a loving family, of parents and three siblings. Beautiful dark curly hair, piercing blue eyes, and a lovely smile to show all who came into contact with her. Sadly, that same day she was life flighted to St. Lukes hospital for testing. The doctors saw a breathing problem and wanted to get it checked out. Three days later, probably the longest three days of my life, after little baby Mallory had been poked, prodded, and sticked, they found out that she had "smooth brain syndrome" where the brain doesn't develop fully. She would never be able to walk, talk, or do anything function wise. Her feet would have to be in braces for the rest of her life, a feeding tube was inserted in her nose, and eventually put in her stomach. My brothers little family had received a huge blessing and huge trial all at the same time. This was such a heartbreaking time for my family. It was and still is a hard experience.

My sister in law, well I more just think of her as my sister because we are that close, she does not complain or want pity for this baby in her life. She works through it daily and their family takes it one day at a time.
I was on the Internet one day, during the week of having a pity party for myself and I came across this message she wrote to my other sister. She had strep, the whole family had strep, and well it was a hard time in her life. Here is just a bit of what she said.
"Ya, things are busy all the time, but as long as I am healthy it is doable. I know that we don't say a lot about Mal's Day to day but she doesn't have an easy life, not even a comfy life. And I can deal with my physical stress of 2 hours of sleep a night of getting sick a little more often then I used to, but its the emotional part that gets to me. I got strep this weekend, Matt was on call for 26 hours, and I had a fever of over 100.... so needless to say I was a little off my game. Mallory (and all my family for that matter) relyes on me a lot. When our routine is off, our life is off. It is really hard to see my little girl struggle so much to live. She sounds like she is drowning a lot of nights, especially when she is sick, and all I can do is hold and sing to her and suction the crap out to try to make it less work to breath. She is a sweetie, and I would love to be able to fix her breathing and swallowing. I can handle the "handicapped" part, but it just doenst make sense that a little person has to suffer so much just to do the "easy stuff". People ask me a lot why we never say anything or complain, but it is really hard and we dont say much. It is mostly because we feel blessed to have our life."

Reading this email put me in my place. How could I complain of my feeble and pathetic life when people so close to me are silently suffering, going through probably one of the hardest trials on the face of this planet. It made me realize that in all actuality life is not that bad. I have a family who loves me, friends who try to be there for me, a knowledge of the gospel that is so true and fulfilling. I have the Lord, Jesus Christ, who went to the ends of the earth for me. Who bled from every pore for ME to live on this life. I need to take advantage of the magnificent blessing and cherish every moment on this earth. I might let life get me down sometimes, but at least I have a working body and a wonderful life to live. Mallory is such a blessing in my life. She makes me appreciate the little things and love the wonderful things. Its amazing how one little girl can impact the world so much.